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Gimme 5

At least the French have stopped heckling Armstrong

By JOHN ROMANO
Published July 24, 2005

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio:

Skating away: The NHL has a new labor agreement, new rules and the world's most exciting junior player on his way to Pittsburgh. All the league is missing is about 10-million or so television viewers.

A heartwarming deal: Super-agent Drew Rosenhaus performed CPR and revived a small child who had been pulled unconscious from a hotel pool in Orlando. Thankfully, the child was in good condition at a hospital. But, for some reason, he's talking about holding out when school starts next month.

Juice prices: To review the Victor Conte/BALCO case. Producing steroids gets you a four-month sentence. Ingesting steroids gets you 500 home runs.

A covert ERA operative: Let's not forget, the Kenny Rogers incident was set in motion by an unnamed source close to the Rangers who suggested the pitcher used a minor injury to duck a start against the first-place Angels. The subsequent media speculation about Rogers' character is what initially enraged him. Hmmm. An unnamed source, with ties to Texas, running a smear campaign? Does Karl Rove give his phone number to every reporter?

This just in: I'm amazed by the price of baseball relics. Someone recently paid $996,000 for an 86-year-old receipt of the sale of Babe Ruth to the Yankees. And the Devil Rays paid $1.03-million for a 36-year-old Hideo Nomo.

Five signs the Tour de France is too long:

5. Bob Goodenow is proposing a 24 percent mileage rollback.

4. Everyday Is a Winding Road is now the only song Sheryl Crow will sing.

3. The French stopped being rude four stages ago.

2. The leader's isn't the only yellow jersey.

1. Passed the same Le Cracker Barrel three times.

Baseball's nonwaiver trade deadline is a week away, which means contenders are weighing the merits of dealing prospects for immediate help. Most of the time the minor-leaguers go on to forgettable careers, but occasionally one will haunt an organization for years to come. Here are five minor-leaguers who were dealt for a veteran at the deadline. Deals involving major-leaguers (such as the Cubs horrific deadline trade of Lou Brock in 1964) are not included.

Curt Schilling: He was 21 when the Red Sox traded him and Brady Anderson to the Orioles for Mike Boddicker on July 29, 1988. Boddicker would help Boston win the AL East while Schilling would make his major-league debut six weeks later. Unfortunately for the Orioles, they traded Schilling, Steve Finley and Pete Harnisch to Houston for Glenn Davis a couple years later.

John Smoltz: The Tigers knew the risk they were taking when they traded this Michigan native on Aug. 12, 1987 for Doyle Alexander. You can still argue whether it was worth the gamble. Alexander went 9-0 with a 1.53 ERA down the stretch as the Tigers won the AL East. Smoltz, who made his major-league debut in 1988, is a seven-time All-Star and has won 13 division titles in Atlanta.

Jeff Bagwell: No excuse for this one. Boston had a 61/2-game lead when it traded Bagwell to Houston for reliever Larry Andersen on Aug. 30, 1990. Andersen pitched 22 innings for the Red Sox down the stretch and three innings in the ALCS. By the time Bagwell, soon to be a four-time All-Star and the 1994 National League MVP, made his debut the next spring, Andersen had departed Boston.

Doug Drabek: The White Sox were 21/2 games behind the Angels on July 18, 1984, when they got Roy Smalley from the Yankees for players to be named. Smalley wasn't the difference. Chicago finished fifth. Drabek would not make his major-league debut for another two years, and then the Yankees dealt the future Cy Young Award winner to Pittsburgh.

Jason Varitek: A first-round pick by Seattle in 1994, Varitek was on the verge of reaching the majors when he was traded along with Derek Lowe to the Red Sox for Heathcliff Slocumb on July 31, 1997. The Mariners went on to win the division, but Slocumb was of little help. He went 0-4. Varitek, who would go on to be only the third Red Sox captain in 80 years, made his major-league debut two months later.

28.5: Percentage of majors won by Tiger Woods since 1997.

8.5: Percentage of majors won by Vijay Singh, the second-best ratio.

65: Games on the DL by Barry Bonds from 1986-2004.

96: Games on the DL by Bonds in 2005.

10: Jobs for Larry Brown in 33 years as a head coach.

Gary Bettman: Still a dweeb.

[Last modified July 24, 2005, 00:51:05]